Only HR Managers Are Immune From the Robots

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May 11, 2018

When the robots arrive, some of you people out there in HR land are doomed. Utterly doomed!

How do I know this? An algorithm told me. Go ahead and shake your head over the sheer preposterousness of it all. While you’re laughing and pointing, those of us on the list will be stocking up on MREs just in case things get out of control and doom means more than the unemployment line.

If you’re sure you want to know your fate, here’s the DOOMED list from (BTW: After learning the odds your job is going to be gone soon, the site conveniently, if ironically provides a link to job openings just like yours.):

  • HR Assistants – 90% chance AI will take your job.
  • Compensation and benefits managers — 96% chance you’re a goner and so is your 6-figure paycheck. (What! You didn’t know that’s what other comp and bene people were making!)
  • Payroll and timekeeping clerks — Are you surprised that automation will take your job? it’s already happening atsome of the bigger companies, which is why this one is rated a 97% loser.

Not on the doomed list: HR managers. You didn’t really think the people in charge of hiring robots would replace themselves?

Also not on the doomed list, my job. But if it were and my Powerball pension plan hadn’t yet hit, I’d just do what Chase Zreet did and make a rap video for my application.

I wouldn’t need the yellow and green suits; I don’t “wanna write, write for Sprite.” My lines would be more like, “I wanna be a billionaire…” I’d consider taking less for the right opportunity.

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