How to Manage Office Romances

In the award-winning American TV series The Office, a small Pennsylvania workplace is rife with romantic relationships that would horrify any actual HR department. Despite its overdramatized relationships, the comedy sitcom isn’t too off base regarding the real-life ubiquitousness of in-office romantic relationships. One-third of adults in the U.S. are or have been in a workplace romance, according to the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM). This can, unfortunately, create a minefield of problems for all involved, especially considering 6% of office romances resulted in legal action.

Let’s consider the consequences.

Office relationships often cross superiority levels. In a CareerBuilder survey, 35% of female respondents and 25% of male respondents said they’ve dated someone at a higher professional level than themselves; 27% of women and 16% of men have dated their boss.

Office relationships also threaten to diminish office morale and employee satisfaction, not to mention they might lead to one or both partners in the relationship leaving the company.

So, how can a company avoid the possible negative ramifications of workplace romances?

Zero-tolerance policies are said to be unrealistic, and may encourage employees to keep their relationship a secret, which is the opposite of what HR departments should want.

To maintain a smoothly operating office, companies can require employees to disclose office romances, something The Office’s fictional company Dunder Mifflin got right. In those policies, be specific about dos and don’ts. A few companies have employees sign “love contracts.” Remind employees that professional behavior is always required in the office and at company off-site meetings and events, and those relationship problems should be left at home.

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Disclosure may be difficult to enforce, but HR should welcome it by creating a no-judgment zone. It’s widely understood that keeping one’s work and personal lives separate is a wise practice. Phrases like “Don’t mix business with pleasure” and “Leave your baggage at the door” are common when it comes to professionalism. So, employees may be wary of admitting in-office relationships to HR for fear that it will negatively impact their careers, as one in three romantic office relationships will end in at least one person being fired. Twenty-eight percent of employees who have had a workplace romance never disclosed it to HR, according to SHRM’s survey.

To encourage disclosing in-office relationships, company policies should clearly state that disclosure will not affect employees’ career trajectory or reputation. HR teams should stress that disclosing a workplace relationship does not mean employees have to admit their relationship to their co-workers, which may help to alleviate their fear of office rumors and gossip.

Companies often focus on recruiting top talent and analyzing the productivity and performance of their staff. But they also must understand that their employees are, in fact, human. Workplace romances are fairly common and should be expected. By enforcing strong but empathetic HR policies, companies can ensure their staff feels respected should they meet someone in the office and protected if they are mistreated by a superior or colleague.

A version of this article was originally published on wforce.org.

Dr. Arthur Langer is director of the Center for Technology Management at Columbia University and chairman and founder of Workforce Opportunity Services (WOS), a nonprofit with a mission of developing the skills of untapped talent from underserved and veteran communities through partnerships with organizations dedicated to diversifying their workforce. Since its inception in 2005, WOS has served 5,300+ individuals through partnerships with more than 65 corporations in 60+ locations worldwide. For more information, please visit www.wforce.org.ᐧ

 

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